Los Posingos Mother's Home

It is definitely time for an update, isn't it?



Yesterday, I went with another Danish family to the Los Posingos Mother's Home here in Bogota, while Mark stayed home with the kids. The Danish family (pictured below) has two teenage children who were adopted through the orphanage called Los Posingos. They were going to visit the mother's home where birthmothers can stay and get support as they prepare to have their babies, and they were nice enough to ask if I would like to come with them. CRAN, the orphanage that we adopted Dana through, also has a home for expecting mothers that we were invited to visit, but I thought it would be nice to go with other people. The mother's home turned out to be not too far from Las Palmas.



Below is a picture of the outside of the home with Jan, Helle, Casper, and Katrine in front.





Going to this mother's home was one of the most worthwhile things that I did while we have been here. It was a very emotional meeting and there was not a dry eye in the place. A lady who works for Los Posingos met us there to be our translator and to answer our questions. There was also a social worker that works for Los Posingos there. Currently there are 10 mothers staying at the house, they told us that it can hold up to 20-25 women. While they are staying at Los Posingos, they receive support through counseling and they can take classes like knitting, using the internet, etc. Many of the women have not told their families that they are pregnant or their families are not in support of their decision to place their baby up for adoption. Needless to say, they are very alone in their situations and Los Posingos offers them the care they need. One of the things that impressed me the most is that they don't try to push them to choose adoption but offer it as an option. The mothers can choose to keep their babies if that is what they decide is best. Some of the mothers we talked with had not decided yet what they would do. I was very happy to see such a caring and safe place for these women.

We all sat in a circle in a room together and asked questions of each other. There is so much I could share about our discussion, but I will only share the things that stick out in my mind the most. One of the birthmoms had her baby about 1 1/2 week earlier; one was actually having labor pains; the rest were pretty far along. All of them were very teary and obviously struggling with their situations. It was really special to be there with a family that had 2 teenage adopted children from Los Posingos. Katrine was especially so articulate and so honest about her feelings. The birthmothers wanted to know if Casper and Katrine were happy and what feelings they had toward their birthmothers. Katrine told them how happy she was with her life and how thankful she was that her birthmom made the decision that she did. Katrine suggested strongly to them that if they decided to choose adoption for their babies that they not stall the process and do things fully right away so that the babies would be placed at a young age. (Katrine was 13 months old when she was adopted.)

I passed around a picture of Dana and Andy for them to see. They were curious as to why we chose to adopt from Colombia. I told them how beautiful we think the children are and that we felt that Colombia had a stable adoption program and we liked that we could adopt a young baby. It was funny because one of the women had to ask again if Dana was Colombian. (Many people have been surprised that she is Colombian. She doesn't look quite as Colombian as most of the babies around here.) They seemed really touched that we decided to keep the name that Dana's birthmom gave her. They wanted to know why. I told them that we really liked the name for one thing and that we thought it would always be a special gift that we could give Dana from her birthmom. Tears really started flowing when I told them how I felt about Andy and Dana's birthmoms. It was hard for me to even get my words out. I told them that there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my kids' birthmoms and that I thank God for them and ask Him to bless them each night in my prayers. I told them that the words thank you would never be enough to express how grateful I am to them. I said that they are never, ever forgotten. I don't have the opportunity to tell Dana and Andy's birthmoms these things, so it was important to me that I could tell all of them, and in a way it felt like I was telling Dana and Andy's birthmoms. It is so hard to imagine what they are even going through and seeing their pain was enough to break your heart.

It was interesting to hear them say that they prefer that their babies be adopted by foreign families because they felt they would have more opportunities than they would in Colombia. It was so obvious that they really wanted what was best for the child. The women here sometimes cannot afford to keep their babies and sometimes have other children already. Abortion is not legal in Colombia but it is available. These birthmoms cannot afford to have abortions. In a lot of cases, adoption is the only choice. The birthmoms were thankful to us for coming and said it helped them to feel better about their decisions. When we left, I gave each one of them the best hug I could give them.